Fallin' sick

Lately, I was so depressed, stress etc.

At one point, I was thinking that I might be warded because of depression..

Hay fever, cold, cough..all these things were easily infected me..

And the worst part is, I was facing up a facial eczema in response to stress!!!

Oh, only Allah knows how was the feeling... When you met your GP, and they suggested you to apply a cream that make things even worst!! Your face became swollen, your eczema became more bigger and itchy!!

Allah...Allah...Allah...Is this only Your Trial or are these my 'kifarah dosa?'

I admit, last few weeks lately, I was so depressed, and totally over-sensitive..

In fact, when I face anything, even it is small as an atom, I will take it deeply.. Am too sensitive, though!!

Honestly, I don't know how to manage stress! How to overcome depression!

People might think that I am happy, as I always be, but only a little know what I was struggling to be!

Yes, I am happy go lucky.. even a new friend of mine can see it from my personality, but the truth is I was always crying heavily at their back! T.T

Few years back, I was having an unstable emotions syndrome (I called it so), because I'm only can feel happy (laughing, smiling), sad (crying secretly, moody, stress, etc), and zero anger! And actually those unstable emotions syndrome was haunted me until now! I don't even know how to scold people, how to get mad and how to express my angriness!!

And believe me, its actually killing me inside...

But that's not the issue right now, my depression are the most worst things I ever had for 26 years of my life!!

Am crying most of the time, unfocused doing my works, headache, and the latest one, eczema(surprisingly!! I don't even know that people with stress are tend to get an eczema??!)

Allah..Allah..Allah...

I'm writing not to get your attention, and forgive me if my fb status was like getting your attention of my problems, I just need something to motivate me..

Seriously I need someone that can give me moral support, and in return, Allah gave me a bundle of people who willing to share their experience regarding eczema things (which totally enough for me  to feel thankful) thru Facebook.. Alhamdulillah...Thank you Allah!!

Nevertheless, life must go on.. Even I was burden with tonnes of obstacles, I still need to face it through!!

Always keep remembering this phrase, Sufiah, 'We don't aim this world, we aim hereafter'

All are well!!



From Birm, with Love,
Sufiah