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Selly Oak, Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom
Just an ordinary woman who is struggling with life and study. Nothing much interesting. zufiaz87@gmail.com

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Love: The heart of Marriage

Just wanna share something that I got during the seminar by Alburuj Press, with Yasmin Mogahed, couple of days ago.. 

“Love is any emotion. Eg. hatred is love, because someone take away something that you love, envy is love because you want something that you love etc.. 

Love is not a fairy tales. Its a realistic kind of things. We aim for the ‘halal’ love by marrying someone that we love, InsyaAllah. But marriage itself is not the final destination nor the ending, it just a begining to put our path back to Allah. 

In order to do that, we need to choose our spouse who can be the coolness of the eyes, not the one who can fix, fill or complete our empty heart! Allah is the only ONE who can fix it up for you! 

We all are a slave, either you're a Muslim or not, you are a slave! If you chase after power, you're a slave of power, if you run after money, you're a slave of money etc. You are the slave of what you love most! 

As a believer, we are a slave of Allah. Means, we have to put Him first in everything as we claimed that He is the eternal lover. Then back to our marriage, husband/wife and children are just a tools to please Allah, they obviously can't give us total comfort and happiness in our life! He is the one who give us life, and He is the one who can take it away from us. 

In Quran, Allah said, 

Yes, marriage is a sign! Its a sign to direct us the true path. From example, if we want to go to London, using M6, then we see a London exit signboard, we won't stop there right? It just a sign, not yet arrive to the destination. Same goes to marriage.. It just a sign or mean for us to get close to the Creator! 

Apparently, not all people will get married  in this dunnya. Marriage is just a gift/rizk from Allah to His slaves. Whatever He directed us to is the best afterall! Believe and put our trust on Him. Bad things won't happen to good people! All matters that happen are good for us either its easy/hard/simple/difficult to get. As He said in Al Baqarah verse 216 ‘...and may be you hate thing which is good for you, and that you love something which is bad for you. And Allah knows and you know not’. Its just a way to strengthen our iman or raise ourselves into specific level! SubhanAllah! 

When choosing a spouse, ask Him with Istikharah. Istikharah is to look for the best (Al-khair). Its not necessary to get a dream as a sign, (3 types of dream, 1. From syaitan, 2. From nafs/own desire and 3. Rukyah from Allah) yet we don't know for sure it is a sign or not. Then we need to go back to the dua in Istikharah, we asked Him to make thing EASY if its  GOOD in our religion, faith, life and hereafter and TURN IT AWAY if its BAD for us. Means, if it easy to get, it was destined for us, and if we face obstacles, try to leave it away! 

Again, marriage is a sign to direct us back to Him. If we put our life marriage in a right way, InsyaAllah the whole system will run properly! Prioritize Him, place our heart correctly by train it into the Deen,  pray 5 times daily ON TIME (its an oxygen to our heart) and dzikr.. Put Him first in everything!”

May He ease everything for you and me... Either you are married or not.. 
Allahumma Ameen.. 

From Birm, with love, 

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